Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Funny stuff
You all know I love bush, but I found this funny.
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
New Grand Theft Auto game!
Check out the latest Grand Theft Auto release!
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Cool games
Here are a couple of cool games for you to play while your supposed to be writing those TPS reports... did you get that memo?
Red Square Game
Battleship
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Red Square Game
Battleship
Monday, January 30, 2006
Motivational Poster of The Week
This week we will be going with Defeat. This poster accurately depicts your chances of success in world a world ruled by bureaucracy.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Military Pay
This is an Airman's response to Cindy Williams' editorial piece in the Washington Times about MILITARY PAY, it should be printed in all newspapers across America, but we all know the media doesn't care about the opinions of those fighting to defend theirs.
On Nov. 12, Ms Cindy Williams (from Laverne and Shirley TV show), wrote a piece for the Washington Times, denouncing the pay raise(s) coming service members' way this year -- citing that the stated 3% wage increase was more than they deserve.
A young Airman from Hill AFB responds to her article below.
He 'ought to get a medal for this:
"Ms Williams: I just had the pleasure of reading your column "Our GIs Earn Enough", and I am a bit confused. Frankly, I'm wondering where this vaunted overpayment is going, because as far as I can tell, it disappears every month between DFAS (The Defense Finance and Accounting Service) and my bank account.
Checking my latest earnings statement I see that I make $1,117.80 before taxes. After taxes, I take home $874.20. When I run that through the calculator, I come up with an annual salary of $13,413.60 before taxes, and $10,490.40, after. I work in the Air Force Network Control Center where I am part of the team responsible for a 5,000 host computer network. I am involved with infrastructure segments, specifically with Cisco Systems equipment. A quick check under jobs for Network Technicians in the Washington D.C. area reveals a position in my career field, requiring three years experience with my job. Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year. No, this job is being offered at $70,000 to $80,000 per annum... I'm sure you can draw the obvious conclusions.
Given the tenor of your column, I would assume that you NEVER had the pleasure of serving your country in her armed forces.
Before you take it upon yourself to once more castigate congressional and DOD leadership for attempting to get the families in the military's lowest pay brackets off of WIC and food stamps, I suggest that you join a group of deploying soldiers headed for AFGHANISTAN; I leave the choice of service branch up to you. Whatever choice you make, though, opt for the SIX month rotation: it will guarantee you the longest possible time away from your family and friends, thus giving you full "deployment experience." As your group prepares to board the plane, make sure to note the spouses and children who are saying goodbye to their loved ones. Also take care to note that several families are still unsure of how they'll be able to make ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone -- obviously they've been squandering the "vast" piles of cash the government has been giving them. Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas and Thanksgiving are perennial favorites. And when you're actually over there, sitting in a foxhole, shivering against the cold desert night; and the flight sergeant tells you that there aren't enough people on shift to relieve you for chow, remember this: trade whatever MRE
(meal-ready-to-eat) you manage to get for the tuna noodle casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tabasco to everything. This gives some flavor. Talk to your loved ones as often as you are permitted; it won't nearly be long enough or often enough, but take what you can get and be thankful for it. You may have picked up on the fact that I disagree with most of the points you present in your op-ed piece.
But, tomorrow from KABUL, I will defend to the death your right to say it.
You see, I am an American fighting man, a guarantor of your First Amendment rights and every other right you cherish. On a daily basis, my brother and sister soldiers worldwide ensure that you and people like you can thumb your collective nose at us, all on a salary that is nothing short of pitiful and under conditions that would make most people cringe. We hemorrhage our best and brightest into the private sector because we can't offer the stability and pay of civilian companies.
And you, Ms. Williams, have the gall to say that we make more than we deserve?
Rubbish! A1C Michael Bragg Hill AFB AFNCC
IF YOU AGREE, PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE AND SHOW OUR SUPPORT OF THE AMERICAN FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN.
THANK YOU.
If this doesn't tick you off, then you don't really care about our Servicemen and women!!!
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On Nov. 12, Ms Cindy Williams (from Laverne and Shirley TV show), wrote a piece for the Washington Times, denouncing the pay raise(s) coming service members' way this year -- citing that the stated 3% wage increase was more than they deserve.
A young Airman from Hill AFB responds to her article below.
He 'ought to get a medal for this:
"Ms Williams: I just had the pleasure of reading your column "Our GIs Earn Enough", and I am a bit confused. Frankly, I'm wondering where this vaunted overpayment is going, because as far as I can tell, it disappears every month between DFAS (The Defense Finance and Accounting Service) and my bank account.
Checking my latest earnings statement I see that I make $1,117.80 before taxes. After taxes, I take home $874.20. When I run that through the calculator, I come up with an annual salary of $13,413.60 before taxes, and $10,490.40, after. I work in the Air Force Network Control Center where I am part of the team responsible for a 5,000 host computer network. I am involved with infrastructure segments, specifically with Cisco Systems equipment. A quick check under jobs for Network Technicians in the Washington D.C. area reveals a position in my career field, requiring three years experience with my job. Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year. No, this job is being offered at $70,000 to $80,000 per annum... I'm sure you can draw the obvious conclusions.
Given the tenor of your column, I would assume that you NEVER had the pleasure of serving your country in her armed forces.
Before you take it upon yourself to once more castigate congressional and DOD leadership for attempting to get the families in the military's lowest pay brackets off of WIC and food stamps, I suggest that you join a group of deploying soldiers headed for AFGHANISTAN; I leave the choice of service branch up to you. Whatever choice you make, though, opt for the SIX month rotation: it will guarantee you the longest possible time away from your family and friends, thus giving you full "deployment experience." As your group prepares to board the plane, make sure to note the spouses and children who are saying goodbye to their loved ones. Also take care to note that several families are still unsure of how they'll be able to make ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone -- obviously they've been squandering the "vast" piles of cash the government has been giving them. Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas and Thanksgiving are perennial favorites. And when you're actually over there, sitting in a foxhole, shivering against the cold desert night; and the flight sergeant tells you that there aren't enough people on shift to relieve you for chow, remember this: trade whatever MRE
(meal-ready-to-eat) you manage to get for the tuna noodle casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tabasco to everything. This gives some flavor. Talk to your loved ones as often as you are permitted; it won't nearly be long enough or often enough, but take what you can get and be thankful for it. You may have picked up on the fact that I disagree with most of the points you present in your op-ed piece.
But, tomorrow from KABUL, I will defend to the death your right to say it.
You see, I am an American fighting man, a guarantor of your First Amendment rights and every other right you cherish. On a daily basis, my brother and sister soldiers worldwide ensure that you and people like you can thumb your collective nose at us, all on a salary that is nothing short of pitiful and under conditions that would make most people cringe. We hemorrhage our best and brightest into the private sector because we can't offer the stability and pay of civilian companies.
And you, Ms. Williams, have the gall to say that we make more than we deserve?
Rubbish! A1C Michael Bragg Hill AFB AFNCC
IF YOU AGREE, PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE AND SHOW OUR SUPPORT OF THE AMERICAN FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN.
THANK YOU.
If this doesn't tick you off, then you don't really care about our Servicemen and women!!!
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Mensa Test
Hey everyone, check out this Mensa test and comment on your score. I got 12 right!
http://www.mensa-test.com
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http://www.mensa-test.com
Friday, January 20, 2006
Motivational Poster Of The Week
Since last week we went with the poster that most accurately represents my work place, I think it's only appropriate that this week we go with the poster that most accurately describes Kyle's attitude towards his job. I present you Apathy.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I'm Back!
Yes, yes... after much complaining about my absence I have returned. Been so busy with school and work, I haven't been online much. Going to try to post atleast once a week. Also every week at 11pm Est, I'll be DJing on an online radio station.
Listen in at www.SLpublicradio.org
It's mostly music, not very political... but I do go into rants every now and then similar to my Two Minutes Hate.
Till next time, this is Kyle saying; nothing of importance.
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Listen in at www.SLpublicradio.org
It's mostly music, not very political... but I do go into rants every now and then similar to my Two Minutes Hate.
Till next time, this is Kyle saying; nothing of importance.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Hillary Clinton
Well... it seems as if Hillary Clinton has decided its ok to use Martin Luther King Day to call the Bush administration "one of the worst in US history, compare the House of Representatives to a slave driven plantation, and to apologize to the "victims" of Katrina "on behalf of a government that left you behind, that turned its back on you."
Wow... I don't even know where to start with this one. First of all, if a Republican had used MLK day to push our political agenda they would have been nailed to the wall, but Clinton seems to be getting little feedback on this.
Second of all, to equate the House to a slave plantation is just rediculous. Imagine if Bush had compared the Clinton White House to a plantaton! He probably would be impeached for a hate crime, if not crucified... But if Clinton plays on the emotions of black Americans its ok???? Wow.
Finally, to apologize on behalf of the American Governemnt (and therefore on behalf of me and everyone else who voted) is insane. I HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR!!!! Hmm... a huge hurricane is coming for my house and I have like 7 days notice, but I think I'll wait for someone to tell me I have to leave. WTF! If Hillary would have opened her mouth more when she was with her husband then maybe he wouldn't have cheated on her with a fat Rosie O'donald look-alike.
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Wow... I don't even know where to start with this one. First of all, if a Republican had used MLK day to push our political agenda they would have been nailed to the wall, but Clinton seems to be getting little feedback on this.
Second of all, to equate the House to a slave plantation is just rediculous. Imagine if Bush had compared the Clinton White House to a plantaton! He probably would be impeached for a hate crime, if not crucified... But if Clinton plays on the emotions of black Americans its ok???? Wow.
Finally, to apologize on behalf of the American Governemnt (and therefore on behalf of me and everyone else who voted) is insane. I HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR!!!! Hmm... a huge hurricane is coming for my house and I have like 7 days notice, but I think I'll wait for someone to tell me I have to leave. WTF! If Hillary would have opened her mouth more when she was with her husband then maybe he wouldn't have cheated on her with a fat Rosie O'donald look-alike.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Security Forces Huah!
Here's a little taste of Security Forces humor for all you civilians or military in different career fields.
Just a little background:
Basically Security Forces are the Air Force's version of an MP. We do Law Enforcement, Air Base Defense, and Flightline security. Oh and then there are the unfortunate souls in North Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming... we know what we do, and almost everyone else does too, but if you don't I'm not really supposed to plaster it all over the internet.
Anyways... here it is.
You Know Your Security Forces When...
1. Requesting medical treatment will put you on your Flight Chief's shit list
2. You've only had to see your Commander on two occasions THANKSGIVING and CHRISTMAS
3. Being crazy or getting in trouble can get you a better job in the squadron
4. Prior enlisted officers forget they were ever enlisted
5. Where a DV visit will get more back office people armed up and on post than a squadron recall
6. Getting relieved to take care of a sick family member is considered "skating"
7. You can receive non-judicial punishment for not attending squadron fundraisers
8. Where every squadron issue is a "manning issue"
9. You have only been allowed to take three weeks of leave in the past five years
10. You've been to the Middle East so much; you're considering applying for dual citizenship
11. You trained for six months in the woods and got deployed to the desert
12. You lost out on the training job, to a guy who had a sharper uniform
13. It's not a squadron problem that you never see your kids due to 12 hour mids, but it is a problem when you don't show up to a squadron picnic
14. You were caught stealing in the BX and they put you in supply
15. Your profile is only active during duty hours
16. Requesting to work dayshift is considered whining
17. After ten years of classes you finally got an Associates Degree
18. Where an injury you got in a 7th grade kickball game can keep you from deploying
19. The main people who tell you not to complain about deployments, never deploy
20. You were briefed about your uniform appearance by a fat master sergeant, who can't even see his own penis
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Just a little background:
Basically Security Forces are the Air Force's version of an MP. We do Law Enforcement, Air Base Defense, and Flightline security. Oh and then there are the unfortunate souls in North Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming... we know what we do, and almost everyone else does too, but if you don't I'm not really supposed to plaster it all over the internet.
Anyways... here it is.
You Know Your Security Forces When...
1. Requesting medical treatment will put you on your Flight Chief's shit list
2. You've only had to see your Commander on two occasions THANKSGIVING and CHRISTMAS
3. Being crazy or getting in trouble can get you a better job in the squadron
4. Prior enlisted officers forget they were ever enlisted
5. Where a DV visit will get more back office people armed up and on post than a squadron recall
6. Getting relieved to take care of a sick family member is considered "skating"
7. You can receive non-judicial punishment for not attending squadron fundraisers
8. Where every squadron issue is a "manning issue"
9. You have only been allowed to take three weeks of leave in the past five years
10. You've been to the Middle East so much; you're considering applying for dual citizenship
11. You trained for six months in the woods and got deployed to the desert
12. You lost out on the training job, to a guy who had a sharper uniform
13. It's not a squadron problem that you never see your kids due to 12 hour mids, but it is a problem when you don't show up to a squadron picnic
14. You were caught stealing in the BX and they put you in supply
15. Your profile is only active during duty hours
16. Requesting to work dayshift is considered whining
17. After ten years of classes you finally got an Associates Degree
18. Where an injury you got in a 7th grade kickball game can keep you from deploying
19. The main people who tell you not to complain about deployments, never deploy
20. You were briefed about your uniform appearance by a fat master sergeant, who can't even see his own penis
Sunday, January 15, 2006
For Tookie
Tookie Williams, this goes out to you and your family from the crew at Guns & Glory.
Have a nice afterlife ;)
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Have a nice afterlife ;)
Friday, January 13, 2006
Motivational Poster of the Week
I'm sure you have these things around the office somewhere... but these are a little different. I'll be sharing a new one with you weekly for the next three months or so.
We'll start the series with one of my favorites. I feel this most accurately describes my peers at work.
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We'll start the series with one of my favorites. I feel this most accurately describes my peers at work.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Guns and Glory
Here is a link to press releases concerning work the U.S. military is doing in Tajikistan, a country in the CENTCOM area of responsibility. CENTCOM would like to start sending press releases more regularly to their contacts in the blog community. You can also access CENTCOM press releases at their website.
http://www.centcom.mil/sites/uscentcom1/Shared%20Documents/Press%20Releases.aspx
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http://www.centcom.mil/sites/uscentcom1/Shared%20Documents/Press%20Releases.aspx
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Update
I know I haven't blogged over the holidays so I'll be taking this opportunity to comment on a few things.
First thing on my mind is the whole incident in West Virginia with the miners and the media fiasco that followed. I was actually awake, watching Fox News, listening to Geraldo Rivera screaming how 12 of them were alive. Then I went to bed... assuming they were alive... then I woke up and they were all dead with the exception of one with brain damage. Yeah, needless to say the media fucked that one up by reporting unconfirmed reports. Not to mention the newspapers the next morning running the "Miners Found Alive" headlines. I feel just horrible for the families... too soon to start blaming people for their deaths though.
Second thing I want to mention is this Prime Minister Sharon thing. A 74 year old man had a stroke, so I don't see how anyone can act surprised. The only serious implications here are the chances for peace with the Palestinians now that Sharon is virtually dead. This is one of the many things I hate about the middle east, the population over there has a tendency to glorify and empower the individual more than the position that person holds; making it extremely difficult for incidents like this to be overcame. In a way we can use this mindset to our advantage when combating terrorism. In the words of the great Ann Coulter, "Invade their countries, kill their leaders, and covert them all to Christianity."
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a safe New Year. If your Jewish, Muslim, atheist, etc. and are offended by that you can go back to Israel, Africa/Afghanistan, Hell, etc. or stay here and get used to it. As long as I have a gun with ammunition Christmas isn't going anywhere.
God Bless America
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First thing on my mind is the whole incident in West Virginia with the miners and the media fiasco that followed. I was actually awake, watching Fox News, listening to Geraldo Rivera screaming how 12 of them were alive. Then I went to bed... assuming they were alive... then I woke up and they were all dead with the exception of one with brain damage. Yeah, needless to say the media fucked that one up by reporting unconfirmed reports. Not to mention the newspapers the next morning running the "Miners Found Alive" headlines. I feel just horrible for the families... too soon to start blaming people for their deaths though.
Second thing I want to mention is this Prime Minister Sharon thing. A 74 year old man had a stroke, so I don't see how anyone can act surprised. The only serious implications here are the chances for peace with the Palestinians now that Sharon is virtually dead. This is one of the many things I hate about the middle east, the population over there has a tendency to glorify and empower the individual more than the position that person holds; making it extremely difficult for incidents like this to be overcame. In a way we can use this mindset to our advantage when combating terrorism. In the words of the great Ann Coulter, "Invade their countries, kill their leaders, and covert them all to Christianity."
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a safe New Year. If your Jewish, Muslim, atheist, etc. and are offended by that you can go back to Israel, Africa/Afghanistan, Hell, etc. or stay here and get used to it. As long as I have a gun with ammunition Christmas isn't going anywhere.
God Bless America
